All I Can Give
by OrcaPotter
Summary: A 1-part fic starring Sirius Black and what would have happened if he had made a different choice on that dark night so long ago. From the author of The Renee Chronicles & Timothy's Story


A/N: Greetings and behold! When I say I'm going to do something I usually do it, and thus, here is the very large 1-part stand alone story starring Sirius Black! I guarantee you that this is not your typical "what if" plot. Honestly, I haven't read anything like it. But yes, it's "what if?". We love them though, you have to admit that! I'm not going to scare off new readers and ramble like I usually do, and you have quite a story ahead of you, so I will leave you here and ramble later. But... I beg of you... REVIEW! And... what is this? Rated PG?!!! No, don't worry, nothing offensive or bad caused this rating, only the fact of what Sirius has to see/deal with and a word that he almost lets slip in front of baby Harry. Heehee. Holy fruits, what have I come to?! OK, go read now!  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own anybody but Cerce and Tam. If you need to know who does own Harry Potter and everybody, you need to be slapped. So don't tell me you don't know, 'K? K.  
  
  
  
All I Can Give  
  
Darkness harbors the unknown. The unknown can be torturous. It's mankind's greatest fear… especially when one expects nothing but evil to be brought upon by the dark. When loved ones are at stake, the unknown in itself can be evil.  
  
For Sirius Black, the ominous dark clouds of rain on that gloomy Halloween night did nothing to help his nerves as he paced his hidden flat. It had been a week since he convinced his best friend, James Potter, to switch Secret Keepers in hopes to throw the evil wizard known as Voldemort off guard. Their friend, Peter Pettigrew, was the least suspecting of everyone the Potter's knew. Voldemort would go after Sirius, and Peter and the Potters would be safe. Sirius knew it was the best thing to do and no one was notified of the switch to ensure their safety even further.   
  
However, as he paused to look out of his front window once more and looked up at the threatening rain and thunder, Sirius couldn't help but feel uncertain.  
  
"Something's not right." He muttered to himself, resuming his pace.  
  
Wind howled at his door and the fire at Sirius's hearth crackled as a log crumbled to dust in the grate. He stopped in front of the fire and stared at the dancing flames, falling into his worn and dusty green armchair.   
  
"Something's not right." Sirius repeated quietly, shaking his head at the embers.  
  
He looked up at the mantelpiece above his fireplace and stared at the few moving pictures that he treasured most. There was a small one at the end, all of his friends gathered at a table in Hogsmeade. They were all there… Peter, short and chubby with small beady eyes; Remus with his tall, sickly posture, but a mischievous grin spread across his face; Then there was James. Those who didn't know them would mistake them as brothers. Sirius and James had the same black hair, although Sirius kept his neat and cut while James had a hard time keeping his tame. They were the same height, had the same smile. Sirius would die for him, as he knew James would do the same in turn.  
  
Sirius chuckled silently to himself as he remembered the endless times of trouble making they did at Hogwarts. It was a wonder they weren't expelled, the whole lot of them. If it weren't for the person in the next picture, they probably would have.   
  
A bright photograph moved silently in the frame that stood proudly on the center of his mantelpiece. James and Lily Potter's wedding day. He was James's best man and he couldn't remember a happier time. Everyone they knew was there. They were truly a family, then. Sirius's chin dropped as he thought of how long ago it was… a time when you could ignore the truth. Ignore the fact that evil could destroy everything you loved.  
  
The last photograph sent Sirius's mind back into his present worry. As he stared at it, the more he worried. Moving merrily in front of a large fireplace stood James and Lily, with their baby son, Harry. Harry looked so much like James, but he had his mother's beautiful green eyes. James did not hesitate to name Sirius Harry's Godfather, and Sirius loved Harry greatly. His eyes narrowed in anger and frustration towards the dark wizard that would kill his best friends instantly… with no mercy for a baby no more than a year old. It was for Harry that he feared the most.  
  
Thunder boomed from outside, shaking Sirius out of his troubling thoughts. He looked towards the dark window, then glanced back up at the first photograph. Peter was their friend… they could trust him. Sirius could trust him. His eyes moved back to James and his family. It was their lives at stake… Peter wouldn't let them down. But something deep down inside him kept nagging his consciousness.   
  
Why Peter? He asked himself. It wasn't just because he was the least suspecting. Remus offered as well… but James and Sirius politely abolished his offer. Someone was tipping off Voldemort… and they suspected Remus.  
  
Or… is he? Sirius questioned his motives. I know that 'ol wolf too well… it can't be possible. But Peter was the best choice… or was it?  
  
Sirius got up and headed to his window again. The dark clouds brought yet more thunder and gloom, but not a drop fell. Wind continued to pound at his door, only pushing his thoughts further into confusion.  
  
"There's only one thing to do, Sirius." He told himself, grabbing his black overcoat. "Check on Peter… that will tell you that you made the right choice."  
  
Before he could argue with himself, Sirius left his flat and took off into the air on his flying motorcycle. The wind whipped relentlessly at him as he made his way through the dark clouds, avoiding the thunder that mocked him as he sped faster toward the place where he knew Peter was staying. No Muggles would see him, it was too dark and stormy out. Sirius pressed on until he saw a light on the ground ahead. He landed in front of a very small house with a single window lit. As he dismounted his motorcycle and looked at the window, Sirius felt slightly better, thinking that Peter was safe inside. He could just hear the little, wispy haired man chiding him for worrying and sending Sirius on his way with his squeaky voice.  
  
Sirius reached the door, only to find it open and a crack of light showing through. What little relief he had been feeling drained from him instantly and he pulled out his wand. He was about to call to him, but stopped himself, thinking that if Voldemort was waiting for him inside… it would best not to announce himself. Sirius pushed the door open and threw out his wand in a fighting position. As the door fell back on it's hinges, Sirius nearly gasped.  
  
The small house was unscathed. Nothing was out of place. No sign of trouble, no forced entry. It was as if Peter just up and left. Cautiously, Sirius called.  
  
"Peter? You home? Peter?"  
  
No reply but the wind whipping by the entrance behind him, the house was silent.  
  
It was then that the most sickening thought dropped on him. The thought he had been refusing to acknowledge… the thought he dreaded the most.  
  
"No…"  
  
Sirius ran to his motorcycle and took off against the wind. He pushed the vehicle to it's limit, only magic could have gotten him through. It was as if the weather wanted to keep him from where he needed to be… the place where it may have already been too late.  
  
He tried to convince himself that the rising smoke in the distance came from a chimney. That the dark clouds hanging over the spot directly in front of him was really just part of another rain cloud. That the glow of dwindling fire came from someone else's window.  
  
It was hard for Sirius to breathe as his motorcycle slowed down and began to land, and it wasn't from the smoke. The smell of charred wood and debris filled his nose as the tires hit blackened earth. Sounds of falling timber and crumbling ash reached his ears as Sirius stumbled off his bike and surveyed what he couldn't believe. What he didn't want to believe.  
  
Where the house of his best friend's young family once stood… was utter destruction.  
  
"No…" He moaned, running his hand through his black hair. "NOOOOOOO!"  
  
Sirius ran toward the fallen debris and threw his hands into the burnt wood, tossing it aside, tears streaming down his face. He knew what he was looking for… but he didn't want to find it.  
  
"Please…" Sirius whined as his hands grew raw from jagged and sharp pieces of wood and metal. "Please… please let this all be a dream. It can't be true… it can't…"  
  
His hand hit something soft.  
  
"Oh… no… please, no…"  
  
The soul he considered his brother… was gone.  
  
Sirius dropped like a dead weight on his knees and sobbed. The wind whipped at him with smoke and embers, but he didn't move. A thousand apologies poured from him so fast that they were blurred into a single moan of pain and regret. After several minutes, when Sirius found he couldn't shed another tear, he respectfully closed James's eyes and mouth from the position of death.  
  
It was then that the shuffling and crumbling of the destroyed house became louder, and Sirius looked up into the hazy gloom to see an enormous shape making it's way toward him. He jumped to his feet, his wand positioned and ready.  
  
You'll pay… you'll PAY! He screamed in his mind, eyes narrowed in outrage at the huge shadow before him.  
  
A baby's cry made Sirius's heart leap, and before him came the shadow of a giant.  
  
"Sirius!" Boomed a voice.  
  
Sirius dropped his wand.  
  
"Hagrid?" He called, weakly.  
  
The giant from Hogwarts known as Hagrid came into the light of the dwindling fires, carrying a small bundle in his huge arms. Sirius looked up at him; Hagrid had tears in his eyes too.  
  
"Their gone." Hagrid said, his voice tight.  
  
Sirius dropped his gaze.  
  
"I know…"  
  
"It was… it was…"  
  
"I know." Sirius said bitterly, fists forming tightly around his wand.  
  
"But… I don't know how… but, lit'l Harry… lived."  
  
Sirius looked up at him with disbelief, then at the small bundle in his arms.  
  
"You mean…?"  
  
A small cry almost made Sirius smile.  
  
"Lily was over him. She… she protected him 'til the end. But… but it looks as if You-Know-Who is… gone." Hagrid tightened the blankets around Harry.  
  
"How?" Sirius shook his head.  
  
"I… I think it was Harry here. He tried to kill 'em, but all 'Arry got was this nasty cut here and the dark lord vanished!"  
  
They fell silent a moment, Sirius nearly falling to his knees again.  
  
"It's all my fault…" He whispered.  
  
"He's orphaned… poor 'litl thing. Parents killed right before his eyes…" Hagrid moaned, not hearing.  
  
"Peter…" Sirius felt rage run through him without thought. "He did this… Peter told…"  
  
"Sirius… I'm sorry." Hagrid sniffled. He then began to walk off as Harry began to cry again. Sirius's rage wavered at the sound.  
  
"What about Harry?" He asked the giant, who looked back at him sadly.  
  
"Dumbledore said he's ter go ter his aunt and uncle's."  
  
"Aren't they Muggles?" Sirius shook his head.  
  
"'Fraid so, but they are his only living relatives now." Hagrid turned away.  
  
"You can't!" Sirius walked after him, running up and blocking his path, eyes set on the bundle where Hagrid held Harry. "They wouldn't understand him… you've heard what they're like!"  
  
Hagrid shook his head sadly.  
  
"I've got orders, I'm 'fraid. Nothing I can do."  
  
Sirius stood firm on his spot, looked over the place where he knew his best friend's body lay, and closed his eyes as a wave of emotional pain washed over him.  
  
"Give Harry to me, Hagrid. I'm his Godfather, I'll look after him."  
  
Hagrid sighed and shook his head again.  
  
"Sorry, Sirius. But I can't."  
  
Sirius choked back tears and forced himself to try and control his growing anger toward the giant.  
  
"Hagrid… please. You know how his life will be if he goes there. You've heard about what Lily said."  
  
"There's nothing I can do." Hagrid repeated stepping forward.  
  
"If you cared about James and Lily… if you care about Harry… you won't give him over to the Muggles." Sirius pleaded.  
  
"Dumbledore knows wha' he's do'n… I'm sure he has good reason." Hagrid said huskily, shifting Harry's bundle in his arms.  
  
Sirius clenched his fists and looked angrily out at the ruins again. He remembered the words that James said to him after Harry was born…  
  
"Sirius, you're his Godfather. If anything… if anything should happen… we want you to watch over our son for us. Please… we trust you, Padfoot."  
  
Hagrid stepped around Sirius and pulled out a pink umbrella. Sirius's mind screamed with confused thoughts. Thoughts about James, about Lily… about Peter… Peter… he had to punish Peter. Peter did this… Peter killed them. Sirius's mind narrowed on revenge.  
  
"Go home, Sirius. Them Muggles are 'commin. We have ter go."  
  
Sirius turned… was about to tell Hagrid to take his motorcycle to get Harry safely away… was about to run and find Peter… to avenge the deaths of his best friends. But Harry let out a desperate cry and it hit Sirius's ears with such clarity that he knew what he had to do.  
  
He ran in front of Hagrid again and held his wand at the giant.  
  
"No, Hagrid. Give Harry to me. James and Lily wanted me to care for him and I promised I would. I don't break my promises."  
  
Hagrid stared down at Sirius at a loss for words.  
  
"But… but, Sirius… be reasonable. How can yeh possibly take care of a baby? Lily's sister 'as one 'erself… she'd know what ter do. It's not easy."  
  
Sirius gripped his wand tighter and closed his eyes, holding back more tears.  
  
"Please, Hagrid. It's all I can do… It's all I can give. I'll find a way."  
  
Hagrid moved to get out of Sirius's way, but Sirius blocked him and opened his eyes to bear his pleading and demanding gaze into Hagrid face. Hagrid stopped moving, holding Harry as he cried quietly in his arms, and looked back at the approaching crowd of weary Muggles and Muggle authorities.  
  
"You'll need ter go ter Dumbledore, yeh know." He closed his eyes, hesitating slightly, then gently pulled Harry into his hands and bent down to Sirius. Sirius took a deep breath as Harry was placed into his arms, and he looked down at the innocent face of his orphaned Godson. Harry almost instantly quieted, and looked up at Sirius with his bright green eyes.   
  
I'm sorry, Lily. Sirius whispered wordlessly as he looked tearfully down into Harry's eyes.  
  
He brushed away his bangs and gasped as he saw a bright red gash across Harry's forehead. It was the shape of a lightning bold, and there was no doubt it would become a scar.  
  
The blanket fell away from Harry's hair, to reveal it's color, as black as the night and as messy as his father's.  
  
I'm sorry, James. He forced himself to stop crying.  
  
As Sirius cradled his Godson in his arms, Hagrid standing solemnly above him… it began to rain.  
  
"Sirius, we have ter go. Them Muggles are nearly here. I'll take yeh to Dumbledore."  
  
"No need, Hagrid, I know my way. I need to do this myself." Sirius tucked the blanket around Harry snugly as drops of water threatened to fall on the baby's face and turned to his motorcycle.  
  
"Good luck, Sirius." Hagrid called from behind him.  
  
Sirius carefully mounted his motorcycle, starting the engine, and secured Harry safely in his left arm. Before he took off, he looked over the ruins again… the fire had nearly leveled everything. With the rain now falling generously, the house was nothing more than a black mark on the earth. As he rose into the air, Sirius looked over the spots where he knew the bodies of his best friends lay… but then a soft coo from the baby boy in his arm gave Sirius a sense of purpose. He failed at saving his best friends… but he wouldn't fail at saving their son. To fail Harry was not an option.  
  
He turned his back on the destroyed house and flew as fast as he could allow with a bundle in his arms toward the castle known as Hogwarts. Sirius's thoughts were a jumble of emotions… different events playing out at the same time. So many mistakes… all his fault. Peter… his thoughts went back to Peter and what the traitor was doing now.  
  
"Are you back with your master now, Peter? He's not so strong anymore, is he? The people who once considered you a friend are gone… because of you! You killed them, Peter! But their son got the better of that master of yours… the master you betrayed for. Run, Peter… you better run… for if I ever see or hear of you again, I promise I'll kill you for what you've done!" Sirius whispered bitterly to the wind and rain, the drops stinging his face. He held Harry closer to him until he could feel the small baby's breathing against his damp overcoat. Sirius grimaced as the rain grew heavier, and willed his motorcycle to go faster to their destination.  
  
It was a relief to see the tall towers and glowing windows of the old castle in the distance after a while. The rain was dying down and Harry had long since fallen asleep in the crook of Sirius's arm. Both of them were damp, mainly Sirius, as he lowered the bike to land. Thunder rumbled distantly like a memory far over the mountains as Sirius dismounted with Harry safely in his arms. His boots splashed through puddles and his hair stuck to his damp face as Sirius brought them through the doors of Hogwarts. The warm glow of light hit his eyes and he squinted. Pulling the blanket around Harry to cover his face so the light would not wake him, Sirius ignored the fact that he was dripping water on the threshold into puddles as he made his way deeper inside.  
  
Suddenly, there were hurried footsteps behind him. Sirius, almost forgetting about Harry asleep in his arms, whirled around to see Minerva McGonagall nearly out of breath as she came up from the dungeons. She nearly screamed when she spotted him.  
  
"Who…? Oh my! Sirius Black? Is that you?" Her voice was breathless.  
  
Sirius shifted Harry carefully and walked toward the frazzled professor. He nodded when he came into her light and she gasped.  
  
"What are…? Oh good heavens! That can't be… that can't be the Potter boy, is it?" She grasped at her blouse and pointed at the sleeping bundle in his arms.  
  
He held Harry a little tighter, protectively, as he nodded in confirmation. McGonagall looked faint. She groped for the stone wall behind her and leaned on it for support as she caught her breath.  
  
"I… I just told Severus. In fact, I just told the whole castle. This can't… can't be happening! It's true, then, is it? The Potters?"  
  
Sirius nodded solemnly.  
  
"Harry survived… James and Lily… did not." He looked away.  
  
McGonagall's chin dropped and she shook her head.  
  
"Then he's gone… is that true too?"  
  
"It appears that way." Sirius replied bitterly.  
  
She sighed and hid her face as she wiped a tear from her eye. When she looked up, McGonagall looked at the sleeping bundle in Sirius's arms as if for the first time.  
  
"But… but Albus just left! I just spoke with the Ministry and he was heading toward Harry's aunt and uncle's house. He's supposed to go there… what are you doing with him?"  
  
Sirius shifted his weight and again drew Harry closer to him. He averted her piercing eyes that she had always had, since the days when Sirius himself had gone to Hogwarts.  
  
"I couldn't let him go there." He muttered, looking down at Harry. His face was peaceful and innocent… he would never remember his parents. The thought made Sirius's throat constrict. "They wouldn't understand him… they're Muggles."  
  
McGonagall looked over Harry's sleeping figure and let out another sigh.  
  
"Well, it is your place to take him. You are his Godfather after all. But you'll have to take this up with Dumbledore." She looked both of them over again, then suddenly her eyes widened and she looked at Sirius with scorn.  
  
"Look at you! You're soaked! Both of you go see Madame Pomfrey at once and dry off! You'll catch a cold, the two of you!" She shooed them off in the direction of the hospital wing. "I'll see if I can contact Dumbledore."  
  
Sirius obeyed and found his way to the hospital wing just as Madame Pomfrey was walking out.  
  
"Mr. Black, is that you?" She gasped as he came into view. When she saw the bundle in his arms, then surveyed how wet he was, her professional expertise took over.  
  
"Is this the little Potter boy?" Madame Pomfrey asked as she took Harry from Sirius before he could argue and bustled back into the hospital wing.  
  
"Yes, he's…"  
  
"Hush, the little one's sleeping. Take off your clothes and dry them by the fire." She interrupted, placing Harry gently on a bed and parting the blanket to look him over. Pomfrey gasped when Harry's bangs fell back and the lightning shaped cut became visible.  
  
"What's this?!"  
  
"That's where You-Know-Who tried to kill him… but somehow it rebounded back and all Harry got was that cut." Sirius explained, pulling off his damp shirt.  
  
"Oh, the poor dear!" She cooed as she grabbed a soft cloth and a bottle of potion. She tipped some of the potion on the cloth and dabbed it gently on Harry's forehead, so softly that he didn't wake.  
  
Sirius came to hover over her, wearing only his slacks which were still wet. Pomfrey rolled her eyes when she turned to look at him and clucked her tongue.  
  
"The pants too, Mr. Black. You can't dry them when they're on your person."  
  
"But…"  
  
"No buts!"  
  
Sirius sighed gruffly as he took off his wet slacks and stood awkwardly before the nurse in his boxer shorts. She obviously tried to hide a smile as she took the slacks from him and went over to the fire where he had hung his other clothing.  
  
"Honestly, how do men live if they can't even dry their clothes properly!?" Pomfrey shook her head and grabbed a towel, tossing it to Sirius.  
  
"Very easily." He muttered through the towel as he attempted to dry his hair.  
  
Madame Pomfrey returned to Harry, still asleep on one of the hospital beds, with a freshly cleaned blanket and wrapped him gently.  
  
"Is he OK?" He asked, coming over to the other side and looking over Harry as he slept peacefully.  
  
"He'll have a scar, that's for sure." She whispered disapprovingly, shaking her head. "Other than that, the poor dear is fine. He probably doesn't realize his parents are gone."  
  
Sirius sighed, a shudder spreading from his neck down through his back. He reached out his large hand and brushed at Harry's hair gently.  
  
Madame Pomfrey looked up at Sirius with knowing.  
  
"You're going to take him, aren't you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Do you know what you're getting yourself into? You can't cheat your way through raising a child."  
  
"Exactly, Mr. Black."  
  
Sirius and Madame Pomfrey, both startled, looked at the doors of the hospital wing to see Albus Dumbledore. There was the characteristic twinkle in his eyes, but they were considerably dimmer as a weary smile spread across his face. He nodded at Sirius, who looked at himself and blushed a deep crimson. All Sirius was wearing was his boxer shorts.  
  
"Oh… oh, er… excuse me."  
  
"No problem, Sirius." Dumbledore grinned and looked away as Sirius nearly bounded over to his pile of clothes and pulled them on. They were considerably drier… Madame Pomfrey must of did something to them.  
  
When Sirius was dressed, Dumbledore walked in and stepped beside Pomfrey, looking over Harry with a sad smile. His old, yet powerful finger brushed across Harry's forehead as he sighed.  
  
"He's gone… for now. Harry has saved us… but at a terrible price."  
  
Sirius joined them, looking down at Harry… then up at Dumbledore.  
  
"We need to talk, Sirius. Come with me. Poppy, you'll look over Harry, won't you?" Dumbledore turned and headed back for the door.  
  
"Of course." Pomfrey parked herself over the sleeping baby, authority in her voice.  
  
Sirius didn't move, he looked back at Harry.  
  
"It's alright, Sirius. Come."  
  
Hesitantly, Sirius obeyed and followed the old headmaster out of the hospital wing to an empty classroom. Dumbledore turned over an upturned desk and sat down atop it; Sirius was too wired to sit down.  
  
"We have ourselves a very serious situation." Dumbledore cut right to the chase. "The Ministry is eager to speak with you on what happened in Godric's Hollow tonight."  
  
Sirius stared at his feet, hiding his eyes.  
  
"I know." He said simply.  
  
"As hard as I know it is, I would much rather you tell me first." Dumbledore stared at him.  
  
"I as good as killed them myself." Sirius whispered.  
  
"You were their Secret Keeper." Dumbledore's voice was impassive.  
  
Sirius took a deep breath, looked up at the wall behind the powerful wizard before him.  
  
"I was… but then I told James to switch to Peter. He did."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Isn't it obvious? Or wasn't it? Peter was the least suspecting of everyone James and Lily knew. Voldemort would come after me… leaving Peter safe. Then James, Lily, and Harry would be. But we were wrong about Peter. No… I was wrong. It's my fault they're dead and Harry no longer has his parents." Sirius turned his back to hide the coming of more tears, but he managed to keep them away.  
  
Dumbledore said nothing for several moments, Sirius feeling his gaze piercing his form. Then Dumbledore sighed.  
  
"No, Sirius, it's not your fault. Peter always followed those more powerful and popular than him. That's why he idolized you and James so much, Remus as well. Voldemort's influence got to him, and so it appears he found himself someone more powerful and intimidating than anyone he knew. He obviously has been the one leaking information on the Potters. It was because he was so insignificant that no one, not even yourself and your friends, realized that he was the one all along."  
  
Sirius merely nodded, not showing his face. Dumbledore's words helped, but deep down inside he still felt responsible for everything.  
  
"That explains one thing," Dumbledore motioned to a new turn in the meeting. "What I need to know now is why you have Harry when I ordered Hagrid to bring him to his aunt and uncle's."  
  
Sirius brought himself around to face Dumbledore, who, instead of having a disapproving frown, had an amused expression.  
  
"You know as well as I do what those Muggles are like. Lily had talked with you many times." Sirius said.  
  
Dumbledore nodded, absentmindedly smoothing out the wrinkles in his robes.  
  
"Indeed she did, but they are his only living relatives now."  
  
"I'm his Godfather." Sirius countered sternly.  
  
"Yes, but I have reasons. Reasons that you should consider."  
  
"What kind of reasons could possibly convince you to send a magical child to an ignorant pair of Muggles?!" Sirius had a hard time restraining his voice on the subject.  
  
"Sirius, right now, the whole of the magical community on this continent is celebrating the downfall of the dark lord. Word that the infant is responsible has spread like wildfire. Everyone on earth will know his name before the year is through, written in endless history books for all time to know. He's famous for something that he won't remember. It's too much for a child to handle, it would go to his head. Fame can deteriorate a person. When Harry is old enough, he will return when he can handle it. It's best if he grows up away from our world, to have a little normalcy."  
  
Sirius knew he had a point, but it still wasn't fair.  
  
"How much of a better life would it be where he wouldn't be understood… or loved?"  
  
"You don't know that."  
  
"I believe in what Lily told me."  
  
"What would you do with him then?"  
  
Sirius stared at Dumbledore a moment.  
  
"Take him where he would have peace."  
  
"Is that so different from sending him to live among Muggles?"  
  
Sirius continued to stare, his eyes pleading.  
  
"Yes. I understand him. I… I love him.   
  
Dumbledore sighed as he looked Sirius in the eyes.  
  
"Do you know what it is you're getting yourself into? This is not a simple matter, raising a child."  
  
Sirius looked down at his hands, remembering the trusting faces of the people he loved. Their lives were stolen, but there was still hope. There was still something he could do.  
  
"It's all I can give." He whispered.  
  
  
Sirius left with Harry before dawn on his flying motorcycle. Dumbledore had given him directions to a small abandoned cottage somewhere on the north side of the country. Once settled, Sirius had to consult with the Ministry about what had happened and figure out a way to support both himself and a baby on his own.  
  
The air was cool and misty from the night's rain, and Sirius could see his breath emanating among the exhaust from the motorcycle. He looked down at Harry, still asleep in his left arm, double wrapped in blankets. Despite how content the baby looked, Sirius was still concerned that he would be cold. With that thought in mind, he pushed the bike to go faster.  
  
Sirius trusted Dumbledore's directions, for if he didn't, he would have been hopelessly lost. He had no idea where he was, the landscape below him was foreign. It was important that Harry be away from the fame of the magical world, and where they were going Sirius was sure that they would be isolated.  
  
But as long as I am with him, he won't be. Sirius thought to himself.  
  
Landmarks on the directions became recognizable, and Sirius prepared to land. They were over a vast forest of trees, and a lake was just visible on the horizon. Gradually, a roof came into sight, and Sirius landed the motorcycle in front of a small, run down cottage.  
  
"Talk about a fixer upper." Sirius muttered, dismounting carefully with Harry in his arms.  
  
He walked to the front door, his boots crunching on fallen leaves and twigs. Harry began to stir.  
  
"Hey." Sirius brightened his voice as Harry's green eyes squinted in the dawn's light. "Sleep OK?"  
  
Harry merely gurgled in response, smiling at him.  
  
Sirius smiled back as Harry reached up his tiny hand and grabbed a lock of his black hair.  
  
"Ooo, hey!" Sirius pried his little hand gently from his hair and tried to tuck it back under the blankets. "Chilly, isn't it? Let's go inside."  
  
Sirius stepped onto the porch as Harry tried again to reach for his hair. He became content with the collar of Sirius's overcoat as Sirius opened the door. The cottage was dark and musty with age, and the old wood beneath him as he walked inside creaked with every step. There wasn't much to it. The cottage had a second floor, with a single bedroom and bathroom. The living room was small, with a quaint fireplace that was blackened and unkempt. A hallway led to a kitchen with a bay window overlooking the lake not too far off behind the cottage.   
  
"Not bad for a bachelor with a baby." Sirius sighed. He stopped in mid-sigh, however, to recognize that some of the stray furniture lying around was his own.  
  
"Now how…?"  
  
A note pinned to his favorite old and green armchair drew his attention and he hastily read it through.  
  
  
Sirius,  
Took the liberty of relocating your things to your new home. You will find that I also went ahead and furnished the house for young Harry as well. If you need anything more, owl me. Remember to notify the Ministry as soon as you are able, to confirm the past. Keep in touch.  
  
Sincerely,  
A.Dumbledore  
  
  
"Well, that takes care of one thing." Sirius muttered. "Might as well rearrange things to make the place more like home, huh?"  
  
Harry gurgled again.  
  
"Thought so, now where do I put you?"  
  
Sirius looked around, but saw nothing that stroked him as baby furniture. How was he going to clean while holding Harry?  
  
He wandered into the kitchen and let out a sigh of relief to see a high chair. Placing Harry gently into the seat, Sirius made sure he was secure than stood back to survey him.  
  
"That should do it, huh?"  
  
Harry began to laugh.  
  
"Funny is it? I have to clean house like an old house elf and you get to just sit there and stare at me. Funny for you, that's for sure."  
  
Harry just giggled some more, clasping his hands together and looking up at Sirius merrily.  
  
Sirius looked at his Godson and sighed, trying desperately not to think of what had happened the night before that had put them in their current position. He pulled out his wand, checked to make sure Harry was secure again, then left to go tidy the living room first… starting with a fire.  
  
Harry fell silent when he left, then moments later began to wail.  
  
Sirius flew back to the kitchen, his heart racing.  
  
"What is it? What's wrong?" He asked worriedly.  
  
Harry stopped wailing and smiled at Sirius's concerned face.  
  
Sirius ran his hand through his black hair, staring bemusedly at Harry.  
  
"Well, if you're OK then… I'll just be next door."  
  
He left the kitchen, almost instantly Harry began to wail again. Sirius doubled back and rushed back to him.  
  
"Why are you doing that?" He asked incredulously as Harry smiled again.  
  
Sirius turned to leave once more, one eye on Harry, when Harry began to whimper.  
  
"You don't want me to be out of your sight, do you?" Sirius turned back to see Harry reaching for him. "How can I clean if you're in my arms, huh?"  
  
By midday, Sirius was sweeping over floors and countertops with his wand as Harry floated in his high chair behind him. Wherever he went, Harry in the high chair followed. Harry laughed and cooed almost nonstop as Sirius withheld from laughing himself while he cleaned. Cleaning was one thing he despised the most. When the small cottage was bearable, Sirius lifted the spell from Harry's high chair and set it next to his worn armchair by the fire and sat down heavily himself. He looked over at Harry, who had fell silent. His eyes were drooping and Sirius forced himself to get up and take him to bed for a nap.  
  
He found that the single bedroom upstairs held a fully furnished crib, next to his own shabby bed from his old flat. Harry had fallen asleep before Sirius gently placed him in the crib and covered him with a blanket. He looked down at him while he slept for a while, old memories of James and Lily threatening to upset him. Sirius left for downstairs before they could haunt him.  
  
Sirius didn't realize how tired he was until he sat back down in his old armchair again. Almost in the blink of an eye, Sirius must had fallen asleep himself. When he woke up, the fire in the grate before him had burned to a few embers and the cottage was chilled as the dark night of the forest had fallen. But it wasn't the cold that had awakened him. Crying from upstairs told Sirius that Harry was awake too.  
  
Sirius prodded the fire back to life and made his way upstairs, the old wood cracking and creaking as ascended. When he reached the bedroom door, something about Harry's cry was different. Pausing only momentarily to listen, Sirius pushed the door open to see Harry sitting up and wailing in his crib. There was something wrong about his cry.  
  
"Hey," Sirius greeted him soothingly. His face fell with nervous worry as he looked down at Harry's distraught face. He was flush and wet from sweat. "What's wrong, Harry?"  
  
Harry continued to cry, his voice weak. Sirius reached down and picked him up, feeling his forehead as he settled him in his arms.  
  
"You're burning up." Sirius croaked, his eyes widening with growing concern. "Oh sh… you're burning up!"  
  
With Harry still crying in his arms, Sirius looked frantically around the room without the faintest idea on what to do. He took him downstairs to the living room and tried to put him back in the high chair so Sirius could figure something out, but Harry refused to be out of his grasp.  
  
"Alright, alright! Shh… shh… OK I won't leave you."  
  
Harry's cry quieted to an uncomfortable whimpering.  
  
For a half-hour, Sirius paced the small cottage with Harry in his arms. He tried feeding him a bottle that he had prepared earlier from the lunch he had managed to make, but Harry refused, crying louder. Sirius, to put it simply, panicked.  
  
"Tell me Harry, please, tell me what I can do?" He begged, rocking Harry as he continued to whimper and cry. His fever was still high, sweat beading down his little forehead amongst the scar.  
  
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door that made Sirius nearly jump out of his skin. He cursed as he cautiously, with Harry still whimpering in his arms, grabbed his wand and crept to the door. The small window in the front of the cottage did not give a view of the front porch, so Sirius opened the door a crack and peered outside into the dark.  
  
"Sirius? Sirius, it's me, Remus."  
  
Sirius nearly dropped Harry in relief. He opened the door wider, and the light from the candles lit in the cottage fell upon a tall and sickly looking Remus Lupin. Lupin looked somberly at Sirius, then his eyes fell to the ailing Harry that he was holding.  
  
"I didn't want to believe…" He started, shaking his head.  
  
"Come on." Sirius grabbed Lupin's shoulder with his free hand and led him inside, closing the door behind him.  
  
Lupin continued to stare concernedly at Harry.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"He has a fever. I… I don't know what on earth I'm doing, Moony." Sirius looked at him desperately, trying to console Harry while he cried.  
  
Lupin looked at Sirius sympathetically with his dark and tired eyes, but held out his hands.  
  
"Let me see him."  
  
Skeptical that Lupin could do anything, Sirius handed Harry over. Harry wriggled in Lupin's arms while he tried to feel his forehead, flinching a little at the sight of the scar.  
  
"We have to get his temperature down. Have you tried a cool bath?"  
  
Sirius blinked.  
  
"I… I didn't think…"  
  
"Show me where the bathroom is, Padfoot."  
  
Lupin drew a cool bath and Sirius helped bathe Harry. Harry's cry diminished to a whimper, looking curiously up at Lupin. He smiled at him sadly, then inquired Sirius to tell him what happened. Sirius was so focused and worried on Harry that his voice was distracted as he explained.  
  
"I… I would had been there if there wasn't a full moon." Lupin muttered, angered at himself.  
  
"There isn't tonight?" Sirius asked as he wrapped Harry in a towel. Already the fever was beginning to subside.  
  
Lupin shook his head, drying his hands.  
  
"I… I can't believe that they're gone."  
  
Sirius stayed silent, drying Harry's hair gently. Harry was quiet, leaning his head on Sirius's sweater sleepily. Lupin stared at them, considering Sirius.  
  
"James and Lily wanted you to take care of him. I'm proud that you didn't let him go to Lily's sister."  
  
"I wouldn't allow it." Sirius said simply, stepping out of the bathroom. Lupin followed him downstairs and into the living room, watching as Sirius sat down in the armchair with Harry resting on his chest.  
  
"I'll go into the nearest town and see if I can find something to help prevent a relapse of the fever. If it goes up again, wet a cloth and bathe his forehead." Lupin grabbed his coat.  
  
"Thank you, Moony." Sirius yawned. Harry was already asleep with the rise and fall of Sirius's chest.  
  
He heard the door close and Sirius picked up a fallen blanket from the floor, covering Harry gently. As his eyes drooped with exhaustion, staring at the dancing flames in the fireplace, Sirius stroked Harry's jet black and disheveled hair.  
  
"I swear that I will care for your son with my life, for as long as I live… James and Lily. I swear."  
  
  
After five years, the forest that protected the small cottage did not change. The cottage itself, however, looked more like a home. Magically repaired, the cottage was a perfect harbor for Sirius to raise Harry.  
  
Harry had grown into an intelligent and vivacious five-year-old. While he was small for his age, it didn't stop him from exploring the forest. Sirius was constantly on his toes to make sure that the child would not encounter a dragon or other dangerous beast. Whenever he would draw out his wand, Harry would be instantly fascinated and would beg to see magic.  
  
"When can I do magic, uncle?" Harry asked one day after Sirius enchanted logs that he had cut into a pile by the cottage. He had made the decision almost as soon as Harry began to speak that he would tell him the truth about his parents. Sirius raised Harry to call him "uncle". He didn't have the heart to have Harry call him his father, it didn't seem right.  
  
"When you're older and go to Hogwarts." He said, walking inside.  
  
"When's that?" Harry pressed, tagging behind him.  
  
"When you turn eleven."  
  
"When does that happen?"  
  
"Soon."  
  
"How soon?"  
  
"Soon enough."  
  
"I want to do magic now." Harry whined as he followed Sirius into the kitchen.  
  
"You're too young." Sirius went about fixing dinner. After five years he had managed to learn how to make a decent and edible meal.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why don't you go play with something, hmm?" Sirius sighed loudly, turning back to glance at Harry. His eyesight at a very young age proved poor, and just like his father before him, Harry acquired glasses. It was by accident, Sirius realized, that they were the same style and color as James's.  
  
"Uncle…"  
  
"What now?" Sirius turned back to chopping onions while he pointed his wand at a pot of boiling water.  
  
"Why is it that no one near us can do magic like you do?"  
  
Sirius stopped chopping and turned back to look at Harry's serious and wondering face. He sighed and grabbed a dishtowel, drying his hands, and took Harry by the shoulder to sit down at the kitchen table.  
  
"We live far away from most magical people like us." He wasn't sure if Harry was ready for the whole story.  
  
Harry looked at him, obviously wanting him to continue.  
  
"Don't you like living in the forest?" Sirius asked, wanting to redirect the question.  
  
Harry nodded, looking out of the window that was above the sink.  
  
"I do… but…"  
  
"But what?"  
  
"But the forest doesn't have other kids to play with."  
  
Sirius looked at Harry's innocent green eyes and frowned. He had tried to provide Harry as best he could with the happiest life he could allow. As soon as he could walk, Sirius went out and bought him a broomstick. He played with him when not doing paperwork for the Ministry, which he did to support them and allow him to stay at home with Harry. It never occurred to him that Harry would be lonely for other children.   
  
Not knowing what to say, Sirius forced a small smile and ruffled Harry's hair, getting up.  
  
"Let me get dinner going. Go wash up."  
  
As he watched Harry obediently leave to go upstairs, Sirius crossed his arms in thought.  
  
I need to talk to Moony. He should have an idea.   
  
  
The following afternoon, Lupin came over for lunch.  
  
"I still can't get used to you actually making meals, Padfoot. Domestic life sure has mellowed you out." Lupin laughed when Sirius set a sandwich before him.  
  
Sirius casually pulled out his wand and muttered a spell, pointing it at Lupin's hair. Harry, who had just walked in, began to laugh hysterically. Lupin looked quizzically at him, not noticing Sirius's mischievous grin as he walked back to the counter, winking at Harry.  
  
"What's so funny?" Lupin asked Harry.   
  
"Nothing." Harry nearly doubled over.  
  
Lupin's eyes narrowed and he felt his hair. Nothing felt different, but he looked suspiciously at Sirius.  
  
"What'd you do?"  
  
Sirius, trying desperately hard to keep a casual face, turned and shrugged.  
  
"I like that color on you, Moony. Brings out your wild side."  
  
Lupin got up and went into the hallway to look in the mirror on the wall. Sirius couldn't keep it in any longer, and he burst out laughing too. Grinning, despite himself, Lupin looked at his hair, which was now a bright orange color. He walked back into the kitchen, arms crossed, looking at Sirius and Harry who were doubled over in laughter.  
  
"I should have figured." Lupin muttered, sitting back down.  
  
"My job as a house elf hasn't quite destroyed me yet, Moony." Sirius gathered himself and grabbed Harry's sandwich. Harry was still giggling when he placed the plate in his hands and shooed him outside.  
  
"Stay away from the bottomless pit, now. Eat your lunch." Sirius called after Harry as he closed the front door and returned to the kitchen. Lupin had his wand out, trying to restore his hair back to it's original fair brown color. Sirius grinned again and took his wand back out to do it for him.  
  
"How can I be so sure it's not purple now?" Lupin implored, grinning back.  
  
"Pick on me again and it will be." Sirius sat down and began to eat. They ate in silence for a while, hearing Harry calling out to a stray unicorn. Sirius casually leaned himself to see out of the kitchen window to lay his parental eye upon him, and Harry fell silent.  
  
"So what is it this time, Padfoot? You usually don't call me for no reason." Lupin inquired between bites.  
  
"What else would I be concerned about?"  
  
Lupin looked out of the window, smiling as he watched Harry tending to his broom.  
  
"Harry seems perfectly alright to me." He said, turning back to his sandwich.  
  
"That's what I thought. But he told me he was lonely yesterday." Sirius sighed.  
  
"Lonely? What do you mean? You're hardly ten feet away from the boy." Lupin put down his sandwich.  
  
Sirius nodded, looking back out the window.  
  
"Kids need to be with kids. He wants other kids to play with."  
  
Lupin swallowed and fiddled with his silverware.  
  
"That never occurred to me."  
  
"Same here."  
  
"But he'll have more than enough kids his age at Hogwarts." Lupin suggested.  
  
"That's years away still. Besides, don't you think it would be a little overwhelming for him to be suddenly surrounded by people like him? Not to mention people who know him, but he doesn't know them?"  
  
Lupin stared at Sirius, who looked imploringly back at him.  
  
"Sirius, what do you want me to do? I don't know any other kids… unless- no…"  
  
"What?" Sirius pressed.  
  
Lupin swallowed again and tapped his fingers on the table.  
  
"Well, I may know someone."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"My cousin has a son about Harry's age now. I haven't spoken to her in a few years. We… we don't get on too well with each other because of my… well, you know." Lupin sighed.  
  
"Do you think you could ask her to let Harry visit with her son?" Sirius asked.  
  
Lupin looked seriously back at him.  
  
"It would be risky, if I can even convince her at all. If word gets out on where you and Harry are, the media and all sorts of fanatics toward the boy will find him. The reason why you took Harry here was to prevent that… Harry's not ready."  
  
"We can take that chance." Sirius muttered to his plate.  
  
"I don't know about this, Sirius."  
  
"His happiness is all that matters to me. I owe him that much."  
  
Lupin sighed.  
  
"I'll see what I can do."  
  
"Thank you, Moony."  
  
"Don't tell Harry anything yet. I'm not sure if I can even contact my cousin, and convince her. I'll let you know as soon as I do." Lupin got up to put his plate in the sink. Sirius joined him just as Harry came running into the kitchen, soaked and muddy.  
  
"Uncle…?" He called up to him timidly as Sirius and Lupin turned around to see him. Sirius looked severely at him and Lupin tried to hide a grin. "The Pushing Pine pushed me in the mud again."  
  
Sirius sighed as he grabbed a dishtowel to clean Harry's face. Lupin stifled a smile as he began to make his way out, ruffling Harry's hair as he went past.  
  
"I'll be in touch, Sirius." He called over his shoulder.  
  
"Thanks again!" Sirius called back as the front door closed.  
  
  
Three days later, a knock at the front door interrupted a game of Exploding Snap Sirius and Harry were playing. Sirius got up and grinned back at Harry, who looked quizzically up at him from the floor.  
  
"Who's that?" He asked.  
  
Sirius pretended not to know and shrugged, hiding a grin as he reached the front door. Harry got up and grabbed the back of his wizarding robes, following closely and curiously as Sirius opened the door.  
  
Standing on the porch was Lupin, behind him stood a tall woman with darker brown hair holding the hand of a small boy not that much taller than Harry. Harry's eyes locked with the boy's and they stared at each other curiously.  
  
"Come on in." Sirius stepped aside, Harry scuttling behind him to peak around his back.  
  
"This is my cousin Cerce and her son Tam." Lupin introduced them. "Cerce, this is Sirius Black and his Godson Harry… Harry Potter."  
  
Cerce nodded at Sirius politely and her gaze fell to the tuft of messy black hair issuing from behind him.  
  
"Is he… er… the Harry Potter?" She asked tentatively.  
  
Sirius put his arm back to pull Harry in front of him, keeping his arm around him protectively as he nodded.  
  
"Er… and this is why Tam's visit here is to be confidential. Sirius's home and their whereabouts are to be kept between us only. For Harry's safety." Lupin interjected himself.  
  
Cerce nodded stiffly and pulled Tam in front of her.  
  
"Of course."  
  
Sirius looked at Lupin without expression and Lupin ran his hand through his hair. The meeting was showing itself to be bumpy.  
  
"Well, er… let's let the boys get to know each other and perhaps, Sirius, we could have some tea in the kitchen?" Lupin motioned to the kitchen at Sirius.  
  
"Uncle?" Harry whispered up at him, worriedly as he eyed Tam, who eyed him back.  
  
"It's alright. Why don't you show Tam your broom?" Sirius assured him, squeezing his shoulder.  
  
Harry looked unsure as he continued to stare at Tam, who was clinging to his mother.  
  
Sirius left him and nodded at Cerce to follow him into the kitchen.  
  
"Play nice now, Tam. I'll be in the kitchen." She pushed him toward Harry and followed Sirius. Tam looked after his mother with annoyance, then back at Harry and considered him carefully.  
  
"Are you the Harry Potter that defeated You-Know-Who?" Tam asked snidely. His bowl cut blonde hair was bright with a small pointed nose, and he shifted his weight to one foot to regard Harry closely.  
  
Harry stared at him, feeling a little intimidated.  
  
"You mean Voldemort?" He asked him.  
  
Tam's jaw dropped.  
  
"You said his name!"  
  
Harry looked around him, then back at Tam and blinked.  
  
"Yeah, what about it?"  
  
"You can't say his name! It's bad!" Tam looked at him fearfully.  
  
"Why?" Harry was confused.  
  
Tam was at a loss for words.  
  
"Because… because, that's why!"  
  
"I don't understand." Harry shook his head.  
  
"You should… he killed your parents after all." Tam seemed to calm down, looking at Harry with indifference.  
  
Sirius had told Harry that his parents were dead, that Voldemort killed them when he was a baby. Voldemort disappeared after he tried to kill Harry, and that was why people knew his name. It never really bothered him before Tam had stuck it so vehemently in his face. Harry didn't know what to say.  
  
Tam shrugged when Harry didn't say anything and surveyed the small cottage, frowning.  
  
"So what do you have to play with? My mother and father got me a new broom for my last birthday. Do you have a broom?"  
  
Harry shook himself from the hurt he was beginning to feel from this boy and smiled earnestly.  
  
"Yes I do. Want to see it?"  
  
Tam shrugged again and followed Harry up the stairs to his bedroom. When Harry had grown out of his crib, Sirius enlisted Lupin's help to magically produce another room on the second floor. Harry had the old room to himself and Sirius had the new room right next door. As Harry bounded excitedly into his bedroom, closely followed by Tam, he brushed aside the miscellaneous toys scattered across the floor and grabbed his broom. He held it out proudly to Tam, expecting him to be impressed, but his face fell as Tam survey the broom with mild interest.  
  
"This one's old," He droned, running a finger across the well-loved handle. "Mine's new and a lot faster."   
  
Harry pulled the broom away from Tam and looked at it defensively.  
  
"Mine's fast too."  
  
"Bet mine could beat yours."  
  
"Nuh uh."  
  
"Unh huh."  
  
"Nuh uh."  
  
"Prove it."  
  
Harry defiantly left his bedroom, followed casually by Tam, and went downstairs and out the front door. As Tam leaned against a tree with his arms crossed, Harry mounted his broom and kicked off the ground. He flew around trees without flinching, did a barrel roll, and before landing in front of a noticeably impressed Tam, dove toward the ground with a grin.  
  
"How was that?" Harry asked Tam, throwing his broom proudly over his shoulder.  
  
"Not bad." Tam shrugged indignantly. He watched Harry closely as he began to walk back inside, looking mighty proud of himself.  
  
"My parents say I'll play Quidditch when I get to school. How about you?" Tam called after him, not moving from his spot by the tree.  
  
Harry looked back at him, his hand reaching for the doorknob.  
  
"Uncle says that I can play if I want to. I'm going to Hogwarts." He said.  
  
Tam approached him, his arms still crossed.  
  
"Father says I'm not going to Hogwarts, I'm going to school in Bulgaria."  
  
Harry shrugged, not sure where that was, and turned to go inside before Tam spoke again.  
  
"He's not really your uncle, you know."  
  
Harry looked back at him, unsure of what Tam said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Mother says you're an orphan. You don't have parents. I'm only here because you don't have a family, she made me come."  
  
Again, Harry was speechless. Tam's words hurt him and he wasn't quite sure why.  
  
"I don't know why people make a big deal out of you," Tam pushed Harry aside and opened the door. "Harry Potter doesn't seem that special to me."  
  
Harry was dumbstruck as Tam went inside.  
  
  
That evening, as Sirius tucked Harry into bed, Sirius couldn't help but notice how quiet Harry was.  
  
"Want a story?" He asked him, trying to hide his concern. Sirius wasn't sure that Tam had been a good playmate.  
  
Harry shook his head.  
  
"You sure? We haven't finished reading 'The Jungle Book' yet."  
  
"Uncle?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Am I an orphan?"  
  
Sirius looked down at Harry's innocent and trusting face and sighed, sitting down on his bed next to him.  
  
"No." He said simply.  
  
"Tam said that I'm an orphan because I don't have parents."  
  
Sirius shook his head.  
  
"That's not true. You have me."  
  
Harry stared at him.  
  
"Tam also said that you're not really my uncle."  
  
"I'm your Godfather."  
  
"Then why don't I call you Godfather?" Harry asked meekly.  
  
"Because you've always called me uncle."  
  
"How do you become a Godfather?"  
  
Sirius sighed and looked away. It had become easier to think of James and Lily over time, even with Harry looking more and more like James everyday with Lily's eyes. However, to answer Harry's innocent question gave him a lump in his throat.  
  
"When you were born, your parents asked me to be your Godfather. That if anything happened to them, I was to take care of you."  
  
"Did they know they were going to die?" Harry whispered.  
  
Sirius didn't answer.  
  
"Uncle?"  
  
He turned to him.  
  
"What were my parents like?"  
  
Sirius sighed.  
  
"I've shown you pictures. But I guess… I guess your dad was a lot like me. People said that we could have been brothers, we were so much alike. He was funny, smart, and a really good flier… just like you. You mum was very pretty, as you've seen, with your eyes. She was also really smart, and if it wasn't for her, your dad would had gotten in a lot more trouble than he did at school."  
  
Harry looked away at the wall and didn't say anything for a minute.  
  
"I wish I could have known them."  
  
The words pained Sirius and his face fell.  
  
"They loved you very much, and they still do, I'm sure."  
  
Harry looked back at him, his eyes drooping but focused just the same.  
  
"Uncle?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I'm glad that I'm with you."   
  
Sirius smiled sadly at him, leaned over and kissed him on the forehead.  
  
"I'm glad that I have you." He whispered in his ear.  
  
Harry smiled and turned over on his side, his little voice muffled in the pillow.  
  
"I love you, Uncle."  
  
Sirius got up and went to the door, his hand holding his wand at the candles on the wall.  
  
"I love you too, Harry." He extinguished the candles and closed the door softly behind him.  
  
  
Six years later…  
  
"Harry, where's your trunk?!"  
  
"By the front door!"  
  
"Did you pack everything?!"  
  
"Yes, yes!"  
  
"Where's your wand?!"  
  
"In my trunk!"  
  
"Oh yeah, right. You sure you have everything?!"  
  
"Uncle… I told you, yes!"  
  
"You need to eat something!"  
  
"I can't eat!"  
  
"Yes you can. I'm not letting you go on an empty stomach, we have a long way to go to get to King's Cross."  
  
Harry walked briskly into the kitchen. At eleven years old, he was still small and skinny for his age. He sat down apprehensively in his seat at the kitchen table while Sirius put a plate of toast in front of him. It was still dark outside, they had to leave early for it was a long trip to the train station. The trip to Hogwarts would provide a witch with a food cart, Sirius had told Harry, and Harry was convinced that he could wait 'till then. Sirius would not allow it.  
  
"Eat." He commanded, pointing his wand at him.   
  
Harry looked desperately at Sirius.  
  
"It will be a lot worse if your stomach is empty. Eat."  
  
Sighing, Harry nibbled at the toast while staring blankly at the wall.  
  
Sirius glanced at his watch, cursing silently under his breath.  
  
"We need to go. You ready?"  
  
Harry immediately nodded, pushing the half-eaten toast away and standing up.  
  
Sirius magically fitted Harry's school trunk onto his motorcycle, and mounted. Harry climbed up behind him and they took off. As the small cottage went out of view behind them, Harry couldn't help but sigh.  
  
"You'll be home at Christmas… then in the summer, you know. It won't be as bad as you think." Sirius looked over his shoulder and gave Harry a reassuring smile.  
  
"Yeah." Harry nodded, holding onto Sirius a little tighter.  
  
Sirius tried to hide his own sadness at letting Harry go, and pushed the bike to go faster.  
  
They landed at King's Cross without the Muggles noticing with ten minutes to spare. Sirius quickly pulled off Harry's trunk and led him into the station.  
  
"Where's Platform Nine and Three Quarters, Uncle?" Harry asked, looking around nervously at all the Muggles who looked back at them suspiciously.  
  
Sirius looked around, his gaze falling upon a small group of people with trunks, and smiled.  
  
"This way, Harry."  
  
He led him over to a small group of red headed people. A nice looking woman was fussing over her children of red heads. Harry looked at them curiously as Sirius approached the woman politely.  
  
"That's the way to Platform Nine and Three Quarters, right?" He pointed at a solid wall.  
  
The woman nodded, brushing her hair out of her face.  
  
"Oh yes, sir, that's right. Go on ahead of me, I don't mind."  
  
Sirius thanked her politely and took Harry's hand.  
  
"But, Uncle, that's a wall." Harry told him uncertainly.  
  
"Just do what I do, don't worry."  
  
"But…"  
  
Sirius pulled Harry along with him at a jog, dragging the trunk behind them. Harry began to protest just as Sirius jumped through the wall with him. They faced a busy train platform with a steaming violet locomotive before them, people dashing everywhere and shouting.  
  
"Wow!" Harry shouted excitedly.  
  
Sirius grinned and pulled him along with his trunk toward the train. He watched Harry's expression as they moved among the magical people. While he knew Harry was ready to handle going out into society with others like him, there was still that parental worry that he tried to subdue.  
  
"Everyone's looking at me." Harry tugged at his hand.  
  
"That will happen for a while, then people will get used to you." He took him to a train compartment and started to load his trunk.  
  
"Get used to me?" Harry was breathless.  
  
Sirius turned to him and put a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Remember how we talked about how other magical people like us know you? That after Voldemort disappeared after trying to kill you that you became famous?"  
  
Harry looked overwhelmed and Sirius frowned with worry.  
  
"It will be alright, you'll get used to it… and before long people will too. Here, take your new owl."  
  
"Hedwig." Harry smiled at the snowy owl in the cage.  
  
"Be sure to write me a lot, and send Hedwig."  
  
The train whistle blew and people began to hurry onto the train.  
  
"Time to go." Sirius ran a hand through his hair.  
  
"I'm not sure, Uncle." Harry hesitated.  
  
"Nonsense," Sirius bit his lip. "You've been looking forward to this ever since you knew magic existed."  
  
"I don't want to leave you." Harry's eyes began to tear.  
  
"Hey," Sirius bent down and wiped Harry's eyes. "You'll be too busy having fun making new friends and learning to do magic like me to miss me."  
  
"What if they're all like Tam?" Harry whispered.  
  
Sirius looked at him sternly.  
  
"Forget Tam. There will always be jerks like Tam, but you'll find friends worth having, believe me. Besides, he isn't here, you'll never see him again."  
  
Harry looked up at the train, then looked back at Sirius.  
  
"Will… will you miss me?"  
  
Sirius pulled him into a hug and held him there for a long minute.  
  
"Of course I will. Don't you ever think that I wouldn't."  
  
The train whistle blew again, and Sirius forced himself to pull Harry away.  
  
"You need to get in now, Harry. We'll write each other and I'll see you at Christmas." He pushed him toward the train.  
  
Harry stepped up to the door, stopped, and ran back to Sirius to give him one last hug before hiding his face and running onto the train. As Sirius waved at him through the window, he could no longer hold it in, and he began to tear as well. When the train began to roll away along the track, Sirius continued to wave and stare at the forlorn face of his Godson.  
  
"It's hard, isn't it?" The kind woman that Sirius had met before came up to wave beside him.  
  
Sirius stopped waving as the train disappeared and sighed.  
  
"I feel like he's been torn from me."  
  
"It gets easier, but the feeling never goes away." She smiled. "Your boy excited about Hogwarts?"  
  
Sirius looked at her with a weak smile.  
  
"Yes, he is."  
  
"What's his name? My son Ron is starting his first year too."  
  
Sirius considered her a moment, stuffing his hands in his pockets.  
  
"Harry… Harry Potter."   
  
The woman grabbed at her blouse and gasped.  
  
"No! Really? Then you are…?"  
  
He turned from her, looking back at the empty train tracks, and smiled.  
  
"Sirius Black. His Godfather."  
  
FIN  
  
A/N: Well, what did you think? I really liked it, I enjoyed writing it. That's how I view Sirius... a real caring and dedicated guy. He really should had done what I had him do and forced Hagrid to give Harry to him. So, let me know what you think about this story. I told you not to worry about the PG rating. Something different from the world of Renee, huh? I would like to do another different story, but I'm at a fresh slate with no ideas. That will change, school always has me daydreaming new ideas! Heehee.  
  
Oh, and guess what? My website actually is WORKING NOW! Yes, I know, can you believe it? You can get there now! I can update it! This is bliss! I added a page for Timothy and updated some of the other pages. So head on over to http://www.theworldofreneepotter.disneyfansites.com and check it out. I still have the banner for the site if you would like to add it to your own. I'll gladly do a banner exhange!  
  
So, what now? Well, I'll get my creative juices flowing and take advantage of those nifty little notebooks I was given for Christmas to write ideas in. Hey, hello to new readers! For once this is not a Renee-related fic! So you know what you ALL can do right now? REVIEW! Pahleeeaaaaseee?! Thanks you!  
::waves and grins::  
~OrcaPotter 


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